April 13th - Steams in the Desert

Sometimes the Lord hedges in our ways. Today is such a day for me.

My illness seems to be worse today. I've been running a fever, my throat has certainly not improved, my stamina weakened - possibly felt stronger yesterday due to the steroid shot, and earlier today I had a short moment of blacking-out. Fifteen minutes is about my maximum time out of bed, so I'll try to transfer my thoughts quickly.

In short, tonight the boys' band will be playing for our Perspectives class and I really want to be there. This will be their first time playing for someone besides the homeless of Water Angels, the kids of our church, or the youth at Club 180. This will also be their first mainstream adult audience to lead in worship. This will also be their first time to play "Glory to God" as a band. This will also be the first time I have missed them play...

A few minutes ago, I joined their practice session and they gave me a personal concert previewing the songs they will be playing in a few hours. I cried as I listened to the words, "Take my life and let it be...All for you...and for your glory...Take my life and let it be Yours!" I realized this is a day when I am surrendering my desires by the way hedged in by Him. Oh, how I am tired of feeling so lousy. Oh, how I long to be there tonight.

At the end of the practice, Weston dashed quickly out of the room. I followed him and found him wiping his eyes. After some coaxing he told me the reason he was crying was because he wanted me to be there. What can a mother say? I promised to be with them through my prayers. My heart will certainly be there!

After a few moments of self-pity as I'm rearranging commitments for the week, and realizing I'll miss this evening due to this crazy sore throat; I picked up my favorite book and read the entry for today. I had to smile at the words, because here I am without a voice and being forced to rest...

I laid it down in silence,
This work of mine,
And took what had been sent me -
A resting time.
The Master's voice had called me
To rest apart;
"Apart with Jesus only,"
Echoed in my heart.

I took the rest and stillness
From his own hand,
And felt this present illness
Was what He had planned.
How often we choose labor,
When He says, "Rest" -
Our ways are blind and crooked;
His way is best...

-Selected
Streams in the Desert by L.B. Cowman, April 13th

If you read this, please pray for the boys tonight. May they lead well in the worship this evening and may their music help draw hearts toward our Almighty God.

UPDATE A WEEK LATER (4/21/10): The boys were amazing - according to people I talked to in class last night. One girl told me that it was one of the most impactful worship experiences she'd ever had. She said it was incredible having children lead the hearts of adults in worship! Reid also told me that after the boys played, several people came up to pray for them. They prayed and afterwards a lady told Reid she had a vision while praying for them. As she was praying, she saw a bright white light from heaven come down on top of each of their four heads. She didn't "define" it, but I hope it's the light of Jesus filling each of them to be His light here on earth. May God anoint them for His service.

As for me, I'm still not 100%, but striving to get there. My voice has returned, and already I'm tired of listening to it! The peace and quiet were enjoyed.