4 weeks ago
Monday, February 26, 2007
I am sitting here with my sweet friend Tracie at her kitchen table. I am recieving my first "blogging" lesson. I have only blogged one time in my life, and it happened to be within the past week. I felt it only fitting to have my "first TRUE blogging entry" as my first blogging entry on my own blog.
Here is the "cut-n-paste" version of my post on CBC's website for my beloved friend Ansley:
I have NEVER blogged before. Ansley would be so proud of me! Ha!
Along the journey, God has allowed me to put pen to paper to express my love for Ansley and my love for Jesus Christ. I have included three poems that were written specifically to or about Ansley during this journey along the suffering road.
This first one makes me truly smile as I savor the sweet gift of friendship with Ansley. It was written for her 36th birthday, and truly gives a glimpse into the person she was and the life she lived. It will make you laugh, as you are given a glimpse into her life.
This was read at a SURPRISE party we planned for Ansley. She came to the party thinking she would be blessed to see her two favorite missionaries Godwin and Dr. Lu! Todd knew she would come easily if they were on the venue! May you be blessed to see how Ansley “lived life.” I cherish the gift of friendship the Lord gave me.
Ansley-Instead of a letter, I decided to write you your own personal birthday poem. I does convey my true feelings toward you. I love you so much & you are such a cherished friend that I know whatever I would write would never be adequate. Please accept this humorous, yet true, poem as a gift from my heart.
“Ode ot Ansley”
Ansley, I know you expected Godwin and Lou,But – SURPRISE!
They’re not here; It’s a party for YOU!
Yes, seeing your face really gave us some kicks-
It’s hard to believe that you’re really 36!
It’s wonderful how our friendship has grown over the years-
We have shared lots of laughter; We have shared lots of tears.
And, even as the two of us continue to grow older
I’m thankful we can always cry on one another’s shoulder!
When I’m around you, I love to act SILLY-
I’m so glad you hang out with a Tennessee Hillbilly!
And, since this poem is also your birthday card
Let me thank you once again for decorating my yard!
From your friends and your family, to a brother-in-law who is Dutch
It is amazing to see how many lives you have touched.
Our God has chosen to use you in a very special way,
For you often give encouragement, and even with strangers you offer to pray!
God shows His love in you, just a very simple girl,
Your life has even made an impact on the other side of the world!
Lives now are different in India and Ghana,
And the lives of Colby and Gray are blessed with an incredible Mama!
I’m sure Todd would also say that when God planned his life
Our God’s perfect plan was giving him you as his wife!
A daughter, a mother, a wife, and a friend-
When I think of all the amazing things about you- I don’t know where to begin.
From dancing ballerinas, to famous pirate birthday parties,
You have done so much in your life…even survived Todd’s smelly “farties!”
Oh, I could go on-and-on, but sharing memories would take all night,
Why, you and I could sing a duet from Sing, Spell, Read, and Write!
From cream filled Krispy Kreme doughnuts, to friendly banter with jiving,
From crying at The Notebook to our late night secret diving!
From the prayer service that was held right here,
To all the fun memories that have come from your painted EAR!
From teasing me about looking in the mirror, and that I am too vain,
To our many Girls’ Nights Out, and making Debbie’s “love-letter chain.”
From outdoor spas with foot rubs, to having a yard that was forked,
To really bad chemo songs and poems…From your friends…the DORKS!
To our scrapbooking weekends filled with deep hearty laughter,
Remember “Home’s cool” and “Googleman” and all the fun after!
Hearing about Kelsey’s glamour shots while staying up at Celo,
From Amy’s first bumpy pages, to Amanda’s nose that was running so!
I’ve journeyed beside you over the last year and a half,
You’ve had many difficult times, but also cherished times to laugh!
I’ve witnessed verses from the Bible lived out in your daily life,
As you’ve courageously battled your cancer and faced your daily strife.
I’ve learned that your are truly beautiful with your bald head…
I’ve learned we can have great friend talks just laying on your bed!
I’ve enjoyed all our rides in your Outback Subaru,
And you are still my same friend in your BMW!
You are such a precious gift from our Lord above,
My wish for you tonight is that you feel His abounding love!
Ansley, I am truly thankful, God chose to share your life with me,
I’ve received the gift of friendship, and the same I’ll never be.
The second was written to Ansley in August of 2006. It was a poem written as a letter to her from our Almighty Savior above. It was sent to her when news from the doctors continued to grow bleaker and bleaker for continued life on this earth.
My Beloved Ansley,
Ansley, I am using this to shape you
Into who I desire you to be,
Someone who can always
Trust in Me completely.
My goodness reaches
All the way to the the skies,
Please no longer listen
To all of Satan’s lies.
For, I will never leave you,
You are never alone,
I live inside your heart,
This is My home.
Please remember My promise,
My grace is always sufficient,
When your trust is in Me
There is nothing deficient.
One day, you will rest
In My everlasting arms
For I have kept you
From life’s one true harm.
While on Earth
You can lose many things,
But if you hold onto your faith
You have the most important thing.
I have written my children a letter,
And told them, “Perfect are My ways,
”It’s so hard for them to believe amidst trials,
Some even choose to go astray.
My ways do confuse
The finite human mind,
People questions my reasons,
But no answers will they find.
When Satan came and asked,
“Whom may I sift as wheat?”I answered,
“Have you seen my servant Ansley?”
For, I knew, He could not defeat.
Some of the ways I have used you,
I have not allowed you to see,
For I like to have some surprises,
Once you are with Me.
I know your heart breaks
For your daughter and son,
However, precious one,
With them, please know, I am not done.
You, and those you hold closest,
Have been given a hidden understanding of Me,
I am careful whom I hand this to,
For this part I desire you each to see,
You all have been given
A small glimpse of My pain,
When I allowed My Son to suffer
For all of your shame.
And, you can know, as I have promised,
I will use all of this for good,
For all of those who love Me,
As I promised that I would.
My Beloved Ansley,
Because you have trusted in My grace,
One day, sweet child,
You will behold My face.
Please know that I wrote of this day
Before you were even born,
You can rest in that, sweet child,
Please, do not be torn.
I will not bring you into your eternal home
Until your work is through,
Until that time, precious child,
Know that I am holding you.
Your journey on Earth
Has been courageous and fervent,
One day, you will hear Me say,
“Well done, My good and faithful servant.”
My Love is yours forever,
Your Eternal Father
By the hand of your friend
This final poem is one I wrote while seeking God’s guidance for what Ansley would want shared at the service celebrating her life. This is the poem Reid read as he shared about God’s amazing servant and my beloved and precious friend.
What Ansley Would SayTo Our Hearts Today
Oh Lord – May I ask
What would Ansley want today?
What would she want people to remember?
What would she want people to say?
I come before you to ask
What is to be done with her story?
Her prayer on her knees in the beginning
Was that her life be used for Your glory.
So what can be said
To comfort the hurting?
Those who don’t understand?
And those who are searching?
What would Ansley want, Lord
Can you tell me please?
I’ll stay here and wait to listen –
I’ll remain on my knees…
I ask you, dear child,
You knew her heart so well –
What do you think
That she would have you tell?
Oh, Lord, at the end of her journey
Which You carried her
would not wish this to be about herself
Her desire would be for all glory to go to You.
For whenever someone was touched
By her words or her prayer
It wasn’t herself she wanted them to see-
It was You Alone she longed to share.
She would comfort us and say,
“Don’t shed your tears for me
I am with my Lord and Savior
He has healed me completely!
To her beloved Todd and Colby
And to her precious daughter Gray
She would convey her great love for them
And remind them they will all be together again one day!
Ansley would say
To her family and friends
Always cling to Christ
Until your very end.
He will hold you
On any journey long
For we are so very weak
And our God, so very strong.
And, if there is anyone here
Who doesn’t know Christ
I want you to know Him
Let Him give you the Abundant Life!
For if you don’t know Jesus
You have the worst cancer of all
But one He will take away
If you will only heed His call.
Ansley would want people challenged
Your followers reaching for You higher
For everyone’s heart to be filled
With your all consuming fire!
She would gently beckon us
To soften our hearts and completely yield
To whatever God’s Will is for our lives
And to make that our mission field!
She would ask us to lift our hearts
To You, our voices raise
In a song about Your goodness
Giving You, Your worthy praise.
Is this it, dear Lord?
Are these words from her heart?
Oh yes, My child, it is –
For I have set her apart.
Her path of earthly suffering
Was never walked alone
Ansley has reached her final destination
At the feet of My glorious throne.
When she came before Me
And she beheld my face
She completely understood
My amazing grace.
And, as I placed her crown
Gently upon her head –
I thanked her for walking
Along the path where I had lead.
Then I whispered in her ear
That this was the answer to her first prayer-
As she grew to love me more
As I peeled away the layers.
While she was on Earth
She was given an incredible story
I told her that her prayers were answered-
For it was all for My glory.
As she stood before me
I praised her for being My good and faithful One-
I gently touched her precious face
And told her, “Well done…well done.”
Thank you, Lord for these wordsFor I do believe this is Ansley’s heart.-Robin Beebe
How she glorified God in her life! I will forever be blessed by the way she has touched my life!
Okay, that is the end of my "cut-n-paste." I have had lots of emotions over the past week since returning home. Hopefully, I can write more later, but this will be the end of my "official" first post.