Thursday, February 21, 2008

It's All In My Perspective

Yes, I am weary.

Yes, I am certainly tired.

Yes, I am longing for all of my children to be well.

But, OH YES, I am thankful to be with them right now!

Today we went back to the doctor for B. He is not getting well, and his cough seems much worse. Today was day 10 of B running a fever. The pediatrician tested him for the flu and guess what? He was positive! No surprise there!

However, after looking at the past 10 days with the fact that his fever did break completely from Sunday to Monday - a 24+ hour period - the strain he has tested positive for is most likely a new strain of influenza. This means B is battling a different flu now than he was last week! The doctor told me that I was probably looking at another week of a sick little boy.

Now, I could be totally bummed out, but I am choosing to be completely thankful. The reason is because my oldest son, M reminded me of what was happening four years ago at this exact time.

Four years ago, for nearly all of February my boys were separated from me while I was sick from the depletion of my thyroid hormone in preparation for treatment for thyroid cancer. My 8 week old son, B, was sent to stay with my Aunt in Virginia. Meanwhile, our other three sons came to live with my sister Wendy.

It was horrible for me to be separated from them and to be completely stripped of my ability to mother my own children. Very difficult and painful!

I remember sobbing on the sofa in our "big green room" on Valentines Day. I was completely alone. The children were all away and Reid was out working on an Outreach Event for the church plant - which ended up being cancelled because of snow. I was reading my Valentine's Day gift from Reid, Streams in the Desert. And, I could not stop about feeling sorry for myself.

However, what Mason shared with me was what he remembers from that time. Mason get sick with Strep Throat...and I was not with him. He remembers being at Wendy's and being sick. He remembers her taking him to the doctor...not me. He remembers how it felt to know that he was getting sick and he wasn't at home.

What a new perspective I have had on my day today after that conversation. It has reminded me to be thankful that I am able to love on my children, provide for their needs, fix them lime jello, cuddle under a blanket, hold them close while they are fevered, and..yes...pat their precious back as they puke in the toilet.

It's good for me to remember the time when I could not be a mother. It is good for me to remember when I could not physically even carry my baby up a flight of stairs. It is good for me to remember when I could not drive, or fix a meal, or carry on a coherent conversation. It is good for me to remember because most of the time I forget about the blessing I have been given to be able to do these things. It is good for me to remember so that I will not take it forgranted.

It is good for me to cherish every moment with our boys...especially the ones that are not easy. It is good for me to joyfully lay aside my desires and wishes and place theirs in front of mine. It is good for my eyes to remain on the cross...for my perspective to be on all that Christ has given for me. What JOY to give up, give in, and give over for the sake of someone else!

I am daily given the opportunity to show the love of Christ to my children. It is my choice to decide if I will show His love or if I will focus on my own selfish desires. I pray I choose to love...and love well.

If I am quarantined to my home for another week...may I keep the right perspective.

FYI - it's so bad here that the county schools are closed for two days. This flu epidemic is hitting everyone hard! Perhaps being quarantined is not such a bad idea!


pattis1234 said...

Amen, sister! I am praying for you as I pray for all of us blessed mothers! We do have a choice! Thank you for helping me to also choose to be thankful! Maddie threw up before bed last weekend alone for Dad and Mom, but this is God's will and that is what I want! God has blessed me with so many things. You are a blessing to me! I love you, friend!


Jana Griffin said...

What wonderful perspective Robin. I pray you are strong and healthy in order to best mother your kids right now when they need you most.