Friday, November 19, 2010

Walking on the Path God has Chosen

Sometimes, God asks us to step into something unknown. Simply take a step of faith and trust him for the rest.

Such has been our adoption journey. We have stepped off onto the unknown path strewn with beautiful sunrises, mountain overlooks, and the rainbow of fall colors. Recently though, we've encountered some sharp twists in the road, jagged rocks under our feet, and the path ahead seems much darker than before. Can we even see around the sharp curve in front of us?

Leaving Overcomer a four weeks ago was painful. Much more than I'd anticipated. However, I came home to find his toddler bed already set up. I forced my mind to set my thoughts upon preparing for his arrival home...borrowing a mattress from a friend, covering his bed with a sheet with "ka-ka" (car) motif, and arranging some of his clothes neatly folded in his drawers. "He'll be home soon," I tried to comfort myself.

Then the first set of pictures came.

Some friends recently traveled to Ghana to bring their two children home. (Please pray for them as their daughter is now in the hospital with malaria and Hep A.)

These friends, whom I have never met, but have connected with in the adoption world, generously sent pictures of Overcomer to us. Because their children were from the same children's home, they sent pictures from several days with him.

I'm sure many adoptive parents would be excited to see the pictures of their child. Although very thankful for the pictures, I would never use the word "excited" to describe my emotion. Overcomer's facial expression was similar to the one from the first picture we received. No smile...not a single trace of joy...very sad... He seemed to be only "existing."

Reid, the boys, and I prayed for him. We asked friends to pray for him. Then our close friends, the O'Learys (video below) received word that they were finally flying to Ghana to bring home their children.

"They will see Overcomer. They will bring JOY to him. He will be excited to see the pictures we are sending of us holding him. Krisite will send pictures of him smiling!" I tried to reassure myself.

No. No smiles. No joy in his face. No comfort to my heart from the pictures. He doesn't look well. His facial expression haunts me. His eyes look hollow and desperate. Does he believe we have abandoned him? Does he think we do not want him? How can a mother comfort him from across the ocean. Oh God, help me. This hurts so much.

Friends, we are asking for prayer for a breakthrough. We need God to move a mountain in Ghana for our adoption paperwork. Please pray that everything needed will be turned in to the American Embassy. Right now, it is as if we have not started the process to bring him home because of this block in our path. And, it is one that must be removed for Overcomer to be joined with our family. Please pray for Christ to move this mountain.

Cryptic, isn't it? I apologize for the lack of details, but there are many reasons I do not wish to say more. Isn't it our human nature to want to be informed of all the details? Isn't it more incredible that we can pray in the reality that God knows it all? Please pray knowing God recognizes what is needed for our little one. He does.

I've been reading through the book of Jeremiah, and this morning I knew before I began reading that the Lord had something for me. It was almost as if God spoke to my heart and said, "Don't miss this, Robin." So, I began in chapter 38 and wondered how the Chaldeans, the Moabs, and God's promise of calamity would reignite my aching heart. Then I came to Jeremiah 49:11 and the words leapt off the page straight to where my pain is greatest. Although the context is extremely different, I knew this verse was for me:

"Leave your orphans behind, and I will keep them alive;
And let your widows trust in Me."
Jeremiah 49:11

My precious Lord was reassuring me that He is taking care of Overcomer. He is keeping him alive. In the time of being apart, he is growing my faith and teaching me to trust more in Him than in circumstances. (Evidently, I still haven't learned this, even with numerous opportunities. Keep growing me, Lord!)

Our surrogate son, Mathiang Gutnyin, one of the Lost Boys of Sudan, had an article written about him yesterday in The Daily Times. His voice is now being heard as he speaks out against injustice toward children. I'm reminded that God kept him alive while he was orphaned traveling by foot across the African desert. God sustained him without food, without water, without anything except trust in God. Mathiang's life reminds me of the TRUTH of God's promises. God is now using Mathiang to be His voice. His life serves as a testimony walked out in front of me. Thank you, Jesus!

This path is what God has chosen for our family. My choice of comfort and ease would not have yielded any fruit for Christ, and ultimately this is what I long for...just a closer walk with Jesus. So, now I lean in. Clinging tighter to His hand. Baby step by baby step trusting Him to lead me on the darkened path - around the sharp, jagged twist in the road. He knows the way, I do not. I surrender my aching heart to Him and trust Him to lead me where I would choose not to go. I go willingly - trusting...trusting...

Blogger Templates
Blogger Templates


TheBowlingFamily said...

We are praying so hard for you guys! I know that your situation will bring God glory and make your whole family so much stronger!'ve already inspired and challenged us to take that step of faith. PRAYING!!!

Erica said...

Oh Robin. My heart is breaking for you. We're praying for God to move in HUGE ways to bring your sweet boy home. Praying that you will hear something SOON. He is able!! Praying for your mama heart.