Entrusted

We are still working on completing the home study application. Nope, it's still not in the mail. Everything is now done except Reid's autobiography. For those who have never written one for a home study, it is quite in-depth. Mine was 2.300++ words. However, I'm reminded - it's worth it!

I've struggled today wondering if we can care for another child. Not only financially, but emotionally. I wonder if I can divide my attention one more time with another person who needs me. Even as I question, my internal spirit tells me - Yes, but only with God's help. So, I'm asking for His help. Help!

Last night, one of the boys shared a struggle that was deeply painful for him. After much coaxing and patience, he was finally able to verbalize his hurt. In hearing his words, I hurt. My heart crumbled. Holding onto my dear one, I recognized that another child could mean sharing more pain. At the end of our tear-filled conversation, Reid, our son, and I embraced in a family hug. What overwhelming JOY to help heal the hurt. How privileged I was to hear the heart of my child - to be a safe place. Yes, another child may mean some pain, but that is the risk of LOVE - and it's worth it.

In my autobiography, I had to write a short synopsis of each of our boys. As I weighed their personalities, I realized these four gifts are currently entrusted to our care. Here is my "take" on each son:

Mason: Our 13 year old son reminds me of Reid. He is sensitive to the needs of others, and beyond his years in maturity. Mason is a natural leader, gifted guitar player, bright student, and self-motivated. He adds love to our home through his willingness to sacrifice for his brothers. He’s offered to help us raise money for the adoption by mowing yards in the neighborhood. He is a giver!

Franklin: Our 11 year old son creates a spark of friendship with anyone he meets. He engages others by including them in his play. Franklin is gifted artistically, drives on the drums, exerts himself athletically, and school-smart. Franklin is our prankster, and brings lots of laughter to our home in with his antics. On the nights I find a love note on my pillow, I know the signature will be from Franklin.

Weston: Our 9 (almost 10) year old son gives a quiet peace with his presence. Although soft-spoken, his presence brings a calm assurance. Weston is extremely kind, an expert at anything electronic, engineer-minded, talented on the keyboard, and wonderful with younger children. Weston is willing to do anything asked of him with a joyful spirit. He helps me with anything remotely computerized!

Braden: Our 6 year old son keeps us smiling. Because of his older brothers, he thinks he is really much older than six. He is extremely active, aggressively tackling reading, learning the bass guitar, and the first to try new things. He is a risk-taker! Braden is vocal and will honestly tell you what is on his heart. Braden brings beauty to our life by noticing the blooming flowers, blowing wind, or the changing leaves.

This verse has ministered to me recently.
"From everyone who has been given much, much will be required; and to whom they entrusted much, of him they will ask all the more." Luke 12:48

As God continues to pull our hearts toward our child in Ghana, I recognize that when everything comes to fruition, God will be entrusting us with another child. God is calling us to give more of ourselves away - for an eternal plan. That God would choose to entrust us with another child? What an honor. It's a high and holy calling to raise a child, and it is challenging to do it in a way that honors God, especially in our culture.

As a friend told us last night, "A child needs love and discipline. However, if you must be heavier on one, always give more LOVE!" We are trying.

I pray we can raise all of our children in a way that pleases God - recognizing our many failures and inadequacies and trusting Him to fill in the gaps. We trust.