This morning I did something I've never done... I wrote a letter to an author. Because of my surgery, I've spent the last two days off my feet and curled up reading her books. (I'm not sure when the last time I've been able to do that!) All of the boys were away, so the house has been peaceful and quiet. Thank you Amy for sending the books!
Roxanne Henke, has written several books Several years ago, my sister gave me the book After Anne. Tears covered the pages as I read about the deep friendship of two women. One bravely battling breast cancer and her friend who walks alongside her for the journey. So many memories of Ansley resurfaced as I read the written pages. Ansley was my precious friend who suffered a two and a half year battle with breast cancer and finally left earth to meet her savior. Her homecoming was February 13, 2007.
From what I can gather, I believe Roxanne Henke has been through a similar loss and her first book, After Anne, was written after enduring the cancer road with her friend. Evidently the Lord has allowed this author and I to have similar trials on earth because as I read Becoming Olivia, her main character has the same struggle with depression as myself. Similar thoughts, similar responses, similar story. This character, Olivia, is based on Roxanne Henke's own personal story.
Her character amazed me with the resemblance of similarities with myself. Battling thoughts of worthlessness, failure, guilt, sadness, anxiety - all of it reminded me of...me. Surprisingly, grief can still be a trigger for this emotional downslide. And, for me, grief still comes at unexpected times. Tears from deep within. To pinpoint the pain is difficult because it can seem so many other factors are contributing. The release though is to have victory in the pain through Jesus Christ. He is ABLE!
Becoming Olivia helped me to recognize though that my JOY is surrounding me. The Lord has graciously given me a loving husband, a terrific family, precious friends, four sons in our home and one waiting in Africa. Amazing blessings from the Almighty! My shortsightedness is not seeing them - embracing them for the gift they are!
A friend gave me a journal a few days ago - the same friend who commented my blog was not a true reflection of me. On the cover of the journal is this verse, and it is one I am claiming for the days ahead:
But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. 1 Corinthians 15:57
I must remember I fight from a stance OF victory, not FOR victory! Thank you Jesus!
4 weeks ago