Thursday, March 29, 2007

Remembering Dates

Dates etch so easily on my mind.

I must have inherited it from my Mamaw though because she can quote every birthday in the family...her siblings, children, grand children, and great-grandchildren - Amazing! Being able to remember dates can be a wonderful thing!

Dates that are significant in my life and bring smiles...
each of the boys' birthdays, the anniversary of the day I met Reid (which is also Franklin's birthday), our wedding anniversary, and, of course, Christmas...

There are other dates that come by every year that cause me to remember difficult things...
in July, it's the anniversary of Reid's mom's death...on September 11th, it's the anniversary of the World Trade Center tragedy and of my grandfather's death...in October, I remember the horrible car wreck on the Savannah Bridge...in January on the day that is also Mason's birthday, it's the anniversary of my diagnosis with cancer...and, this next February forward, I'll remember Ansley departure from Earth. I'm not listing each specific date here, but the exact day is forever known to me.

As is today...

March 29th, three years ago, Ansley received the news that it was cancer. "The C word." Colby and Graylyn stayed with me while she went to the doctor.

I remember when Todd and Ansley arrived after hours and hours of waiting. We hugged and cried and cried and hugged.

No one really knew what to say and, for a time, the air was filled with "what the doctor had said...what the next steps would be...chemo options...etc..." Then we fell, literally, onto our knees and we PRAYED!

Prayers filled with emotion, soaking all four of our faces with tears silently dripping to the floor.
Holding hands with each other, bowing before the throne of God - begging for Ansley's life - and yet, the ultimate prayer being that the ultimate outcome of her cancer be what would "MOST GLORIFY HIM."

I remember each of us praying for the salvation of her father...Ansley specifically asking God to use this to draw her father close and make her Dad one of God's children. I remember praying for Colby and Graylyn and the realization that God was weaving the testimony of their own life. I remember, honestly, feeling like Todd would have the more difficult road to travel as he would be forced to watch someone he loved so dearly suffer...Oh, how hard that is!

Todd and Ansley both somewhat naive and protected from fear of what laid ahead. After facing this with both of our own mothers, Reid and I were fully aware of the suffering journey they could possibly now be beginning.

With Mom's bone marrow transplant, and the horrible final months for Reid's mother...we knew how hard this could be. Watching pieces of someone actually die before your eyes...visits to the hospital where you simply sob and sob walking out...placing some shoes into a box and having your mother-in-law say from the bed, "I hope you can use those shoes"...the shell of someone you love withering away to under 100 pounds.... Cancer is horrific in so many ways. However, if your eyes are fixed on Christ - He does sustain you!

I read "Streams In the Desert" this morning, March 29th, and my entry header read, "the day Ansley received the news - read this on the living room floor."

After our prayer time, I read the entry out loud to Ansley and Todd. I won't go into the details, but, suffice it to say, it is a meaningful piece to me.

"What do you want me to do with this, Lord?" I prayed. (Truthfully, I didn't want to spend all day "reliving that day" in my mind.) God gave me His heart and turned my focus onto another grieving soul.

I went and bought 2 Easter lilies because of the passage in Streams in the Desert, a balloon for the "promise of blue skies," PEEPS Easter candy for the knowledge that the sun will "peep" out from behind the clouds, and I filled 16 plastic Easter Eggs with God's Promises for my friend.

I drove over to her house expecting to simply leave this all on the front porch, but God was so SWEET to give me some time with her. I gave her the Easter lily, PEEPS, and balloon while her children and Braden his the eggs for a "Special Easter Egg Hunt." My friend smiled and giggled as she found the Eggs and read each promise. I needed to see happiness and joy. god provided. It was so nice to feel like my pain could be directed to encourage someone else.

I drove home and placed MY Easter lily on the porch. The buds are still closed. I bought them both that way. I know the buds WILL OPEN and BE BEAUTIFUL in God's perfect timing...and there will be "blue skies" ahead for my dear friend, and for me.

It's been a special day, and one I am thankful for. March 29th will always have significance in my life.

"Consider the lilies of the field..."

1 comment:

TedTracie said...

I am a grateful friend!!! I could not believe the sweetness that filled these walls yesterday and you were that sweetness! Thank you for being Christ to me in my grief. I prayed on Tuesday night in my dark night that the Lord would be close to my broken heart and save me because I felt crushed in Spirit... I also said "Father, I know you love me but will you love on me please?" I felt the love of Christ through you Robin Beebe... Thank you for being his messenger!!! I adore you!