How Do You Choose?

God has been graceful to us.  He has introduced us to the severity of needs here in His perfect timing.  This past week, I was moved to tears because of the lack of clean water here.  A three hour drive, but only 60 miles distance from our home, are communities desperate for clean water.

In one village, the children draw water from a surface water well.  They drop down a water bucket. Wait for it to sink from filling to be certain it is full.  Then they then pull it back up to the top.  After seeing the condition of the water around the concrete hole, my stomach hurt realizing they drink this water.  

Here is the surface of the water at the bottom of this cistern.

Would you drink it?  Cook with it?  Bathe with it?

 

After filling their containers, the women and children return down the path they came from hauling the water home balanced on their heads.

In the next village, I did not get photos of the water source, but it was a muddy, gray-water large mud puddle.  There is water available now because of the rainy season.  Several of the homes in this community had gutters in place to run the rain water into large containers.  However, in the dry season, this water source runs dry.  The village children must walk across a main highway with large trucks barreling down the road to carry water home.  (We are learning that carrying water is the job of the children and women.  You will see in the next pictures how young the children are when they begin this role for their family.)

After meeting with the Chief of this village, I noticed he had a water filter placed in the corner of his home.  Ceramic or Bio-sand filters are an excellent way to provide clean water for villages drawing from unclean sources.  These type of filters will clean the water from any water source.  However, the people using these filters must be clearly educated about the care and maintenance of the filter.  In the chief's home, which I would assume has the best water in the community, he is drinking water from a filter where the holding tank for the water is covered with algae, mold, and mildew.

Would you drink it?  Cook with it?  Bathe with it?

In the third village we visited for the day, we followed children to the water source.  Bare-footed boys and girls had their jugs in hand.  Because most of the men in this village were out farming, we trusted the women and kids to lead us to the place where they gathered water for their families.  The Red Shirt boy carries his jugs proudly as he walks to "do his job."  (There's just something about seeing children in red clothing here.  I think the bright color causes me to take notice.)

Then we arrived to see this.  

I fought back tears watching this little boy hold the cap in his mouth while he filled his water jug.

Jug after jug and bowl after bowl were filled with dirty water.

The women help each other begin the fine art of balancing the weight once it's atop their heads.

I notice this mother's protruding belly carrying a child within her, yet she still must carry the water home.

The Red Shirt boy wants to be sure I notice how strong he is carrying the filthy water.

How old are these children?  Four?  Five?  Six?  Her chubby hands tell me she is little.

And he can't be much older than she is.

The children gather the water then tramp back down the long path toward the village.

I swallow hard to fight back the tears.

Then we take a few pictures to show that, yes, we were really here.  Yes, these pictures were taken with my camera.  Yes, this is real life for these children.  Today.

I think some people would prefer to think this is not reality.  But it is.

Here's Reid and I standing beside the water source where the children collected water moments before this picture was taken.  Although I smiled for the photo, there were tears before and after from the sight I'd just witnessed.

In this picture:  Steve (MLI Staff), Kathy, Reid, Char, and Wahob (MLI Staff).

 Reid and the staff of MLI have the daunting task of making recommendations for wells after seeing the dire need in village after village.  How do you choose?  The need for clean water can be found in many places here.

Until clean water sources come to these villages, all of these children will be drinking water that can make them very sick.  Because of the lack of clean water, parasites and water-borne illnesses like malaria plague these kids...

And this child...

And these children...

And these...

And this brother and sister...

I recently read a statistic that Americans consume 150 gallons of water per day.  PER DAY!  Can you imagine how long it would take to haul this amount of water on your head?  Oh my goodness!  My guess is that the people in these villages consume less than 2 - 3 gallons per day - and that includes drinking, cooking, washing clothes and bathing.

I don't know what to suggest you "do" to help, but I would be wrong if I didn't offer one way to make a difference in some of the lives in these pictures.  These are real children.  Ones that I have touched and locked eyes with.  These are children going to bed tonight on a dirt floor after drinking parasite-ridden water all day.  Maybe God is calling YOU to do something to help them?  Will you pray about a way you can help?

Will you pray about a way you can help?  Feeding the Orphans is getting ready to launch their Change for Change Project to raise money for clean water here in Ghana.  Their Water for Life Project is making an impact.  Something as simple as collecting loose change will help.  The well FTO provided in the village of Deti is already impacting lives here!

Some people say you should only be concerned with the neighbors near you.  After all, there are needs in America.  "We should only take care of our own," becomes the mantra in some Christian circles.

"Really?"  I now ask.

  Grace must abound because of people's ignorance.  For myself, before I moved here, included.  Clean water wasn't a need "right in front of me."  It should have been.

I will leave you with just one question, what kind of water is your closest neighbor drinking?  Filtered water?  Bottled water?  Or treated city water from a tap at the sink?  

I honestly believe you can help your neighbors closest to you without ignoring the neighbors on the other side of the world.  God blesses us so that we will bless others.  (Gen. 12:1-2)

May God provide clean water for these children.

O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.

Psalm 63:1

It's a Toss UP

Thought these would be FUN to see, for this is how guys PLAY with kids!  Being the mother of boys, I know little boys need this!  It's fun to watch the exuberant JOY come from the children as they fly toward the clouds!

Franklin sending Johnson way up high!

Michael tossing Bright on in his last few minutes at the home.

I'm thankful for men who toss these boys up into the air and always catch them coming down!  (I can't believe I am calling Franklin a "man," but there are times he really proves himself to be one.  When I watch him with the kids, I see the "man" in him being revealed.)

  Sometimes our mission for the day is to be like Jesus when He said, 

"Let the little children come to me; do not hinder them for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these."  (Mark 10:13)

Then the Bible tells us,  "He took them in His arms and began blessing them, laying His hands on them."  (Mark 10:15)

After blessing the children, I wonder if Jesus then let them all take turns being tossed into the air and caught in his strong loving arms.  It seems like something He would do, doesn't it?  

Unexpected Comfort

Sometimes comfort comes in unexpected ways. 

For the past few days our boys have participated in a Sports Camp at City of Refuge.  CORM is hosting a missions team from America who have come to lead the camp.  Our oldest four boys have enjoyed their days.  I have loved seeing them arrive and immediately engage.  Mason, Franklin, and Weston quickly begin kicking the ball on a makeshift field while Braden walks the perimeter whispering to Miracle about secret plans for the club they have created.  (They even have a secret handshake.)  All of the older boys are enjoying their days here making new friends and doing new things.

However, Godwin is not.  He does not want to be here, and he has said so.  He spent all day yesterday crying.  I stayed with him thinking that would provide comfort, but his tears still flowed.  Yesterday he cried.  He cried.  He wailed.  He cried.  Cheeks with paths made of tears peeked out from under his hat all day.  Because I strongly felt this was something he needed to overcome, I sat with him through nearly every session.  The only time I left him was during the indoor Bible lesson.  During this time, Godwin sat on Mason’s lap, too afraid to be without someone from our family. 

Today I realize my strategy was unsuccessful.  Godwin did not “overcome.” 

Tears have flowed this morning since our arrival.  I stayed with him for the first hour, but then left the field - honestly, because I was running out of compassion and patience for his tears.  Was he trying to manipulate me?  It felt like it. 

As I finally walked off the field, a little boy named Gabriel was close beside him.  Gabriel was recently rescued from a life of slavery on a fishing boat.  As soon as he saw Godwin crying, Gabriel put his arm around him and held his hand.  I looked down and saw Gabriel’s scarred hands and legs touching my son.  It deeply stirred me.

Questions started running through my mind.  How do these children comfort themselves when they have no parents?  How often must they comfort each other?  How often must they comfort themselves?  The fact that this little boy, who currently speaks no English and has been a freed slave for less than a week, understands that the simple act of putting his arm around Godwin would provide comfort was touching.  I can learn a lot from Gabriel’s compassion. 

Dora, an older girl at came, just walked up here and told me Godwin is no longer crying.  I am praising God.  Figuring out what is preschool fear, adoption trauma, 4 year old strong-willedness, or Mommy manipulation is a task that brings me stress.  Guilt tries to plague me with any decision.

So, while I am trying to complete some work on the computer away from the Camp, I am thankful that Gabriel stays close to Godwin.  I hope Godwin’s confidence will grow as he continues to participate.  The squeals of delight carried by the wind tell me the children are having fun.  I hope Godwin is making one of the squeals I hear.  If so, I am sure I have Gabriel to thank for it.

Actually, this was Godwin's face at lunchtime.

 I praise God that the God of all comfort, comforted him through Gabriel today!

Tennessee Volunteers...and Kentucky too

After my post about people from Michigan, I thought I'd better give some credit to the people from other states.  (Ha!)  I received lots of messages from folks telling me they were from Michigan, they knew someone from Michigan, they were moving there, born there, they knew someone whose grandma's niece's brother-in-law traveled there for vacation, etc...

It seemed everyone wanted to claim Michigan as their home state!  

Well, other states are represented as Kingdom Impacters too!  Before I talk about them, I should say that friends from Ohio are amazing encouragers for missionaries on the field.  (How's that Cindy?)  Hooray for  Ohio!

This summer, several people have shown us what it means to "give your life away" daily.

Through FTO, Kentucky sent three volunteers here this summer.  Anna Stepp, Olivia Brainard, and Hillary Anderson.  Sadly, we weren't able to spend as much time with Anna and Olivia because they left just a few short weeks after our arrival.  The two of them were usually holding children when we saw them though.  However, Hillary chose to stay here for an extra month.

Even though she has faced numerous challenges physically from her time here, she chose to stay longer to have more time with the children.  She has been invaluable to the children through the love and attention she has shown them.  She's been the hands and feet of Jesus.  Her warm smile captivates the children and it always reciprocated.  Kentucky folks have loved well!

I love my home state, Tennessee.   The University football team in my hometown of Knoxville is known as the TENNESSEE VOLUNTEERS!  I love it because Tennesseeans have always led the way in volunteerism.  From the Alamo to current day, Tennesseeans know what it means to lay down their lives and volunteer to help others.

Emily Marshall is one of those great Tennesseans!  GO VOLS GO!

Emily has served here in Ghana numerous times at the same orphanage.  The children know her and trust her.  She loves the kids, kisses their boo-boos, gives them their vitamins, takes care of them if they are sick, and tucks them in at night.  In many ways, she's a mommy figure for the children.  Our family has learned a lot from her sacrificial actions of choosing to come back again and again.  She encourages us with her true concern and care of the children in this home.  What a beautiful picture of Christ.  

Another hometown boy, Michael Lown, has earned the high admiration of our family.
GO VOLS GO!

Michael has lived in an different orphanage for over two months.   No one serves there with him, so he "goes it alone" daily.  He is self-motivated to help these children and, along with loving daily on the children here, he has worked all summer long on a water project for the home.  He will complete this, Lord willing, before he leaves and the home will have running water within its walls just days before he departs.  You can read more about his project on his blog.  

Michael started a daily Bible study with the older boys here.  He's discipled them well, and his time here has yielded much fruit.  He was willing to stand in the gap for these kids and fight the battle in the spiritual realm.  We thank God for the example of Jesus we see in Michael's comforting hands around the kids.  The children in this home all look up to their Uncle Michael.

I'm sorry to give Michigan more bragging rights, but it wouldn't be right for me not to mention the "Ghana Grandma" in this post.  Lola Crain flew to Ghana from Knoxville but she is from Michigan.  Therefore both states can claim her.  Ha!  GO VOLS GO!

Lola gave her heart away to precious children for nine months here in Ghana.  She spent several days with our family as soon as we moved into our home.  We learned months worth of knowledge from her in a few short days.  Lola has recently returned to the states where she is now raising support to work full time for Feeding the Orphans.  Too much of her life is bound here.  She is now tied to these children so she continues to give her life away in new ways to help them.

Finally, I must talk about the O'Learys - the founders of Feeding the Orphans.  They are true Tennessee  Volunteers.  (Kristie was actually raised in Kentucky.  Here's another two-state claim on bragging rights.  GO VOLS GO!)

Righ and Kristie have been examples of true Christ Servants since we have known them.  They have loved those near them and also the children here on the other side of the world.  Righ has left his prosperous job to work for Feeding the Orphans full time.  They are raising support for their family because they still want all money to go to help the children!  (Maybe you could help them.)  We've seen the O'Learys lives up close.  They are the real deal.  Their lives are totally surrendered to Jesus.

The last meal we shared with the O'Learys before leaving for Ghana was beans and rice.  Our two families sat sprawled out on their back porch spooning beans into our mouths.  How fitting.  A Ghanaian meal prepared in an American home.  The simple meal was such an example of where their hearts are - here in Ghana with the children.

All of the current FTO volunteers here in country depart within the next few days.  After that, our family will await the new volunteers planning to arrive in September.  We are grieving saying goodbye to all three of the people who have helped us settle in here.  Hillary, Emily and Michael have made our lives richer because of opportunities to serve together.  We have grown through watching them serve.

Tonight our family is taking the three volunteers out to dinner for one final meal together.  Although they deserve so much more, it's a small way our family can say "thank you" to them for their time here.  What an impact each of them has made on the children surrounding them.

Tonight, we will probably have something semi-American because Hillary, Emily and Michael have been eating beans and rice, rice, rice, rice, rice, rice for months.  :-)  Ghana Grandma and O'Leary family - we wish you were here to join us.  You will be with us in spirit.

Finally, I want to say thank you to Daniela Leipold who "gave her life away" and loved on our son before we even knew he would be ours!  She loved on him for one full year of his young life.  We are so thankful for her love for Godwin.  She has sent him gifts and still stays in touch with us.  She even sent me baby pictures of him that I will cherish forever!  (What a gift for a momma!)  Godwin had people loving him before he even became part of our family!  The impact of her volunteerism continues.  Thank you Daniela!  (By the way, Daniela is from Austria!  But her actions say she should be from TENNESSEE!)

We thank you all for GIVING YOUR LIVES AWAY to inspire others, ourselves included, to do the same.

We love you all!

"The King will answer them and say to them, "Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to ME."  

Matthew 25:35

Note to Self

Note to Self - 

After a day in the field, 

perhaps it is not wise to check Facebook. 

Recently, we were out for the day visiting several orphanages. It was a wonderful day, but I’m still wrestling through seeing the “needs” up close. After leaving one home where six boys sleep outside because there is not enough room inside, we came to this home.  These photos are the beds for the children. Most sleep two to a bed. There were fitted sheets on a few beds, but none of the beds had a top sheet. Cardboard pillows and raw foam hold the children at night while they sleep. Most of the mattresses are do not even fit the beds...

At this home, there is no indoor bathroom for the kids.  The children bathe outside and walk to a tiny concrete structure to "do their business." 

One of the boys at the home lifted his shirt while we were there. My eyes did a double-take to be sure I was seeing what I thought. I still feel a bit nauseous seeing this sweet boy's stomach. Evidently, he has a hernia. My heart hurt for him. Even if this does not need medical attention, over time this could make him very self-conscious. My heart hurt. (Did I already say that?  Well, it hurt x 2!  At least!)  I wanted to "do" something to help little S.

I also realized when we were with the boys today that one of them was wearing an Old Navy July 4th shirt from 2001. 2001! You know, the shirts with the American flag on the front? This child was wearing a faded shirt that was 11 years old! The shirt was older than the boy wearing it.  I wonder who has worn it previously...  Usually, most of the children in this home are in the same clothes each time we come, but today I noticed the date. None of the children seem to mind or even care about having a new piece of clothing. They are very content with what they have. Even if it has been worn for eleven years.

Seeing the age on the shirt made me a bit shameful of how quickly I used to dispose of my clothing for the newest trend. Is anything in my closet 11 years old? I doubt it.  (Actually, I think I might have clothing this old if left to my own fashion knowledge, but I have five boys who let me know when I look like I am wearing pajamas to church instead of a two piece pants suit.  Really happened!  Parted with the outfit that day!)

My time at the orphanage ended with me pantomiming and hand-writing instructions for a craft to an older teenage boy, J.  Although we have been to this home numerous times since arriving, today was the first day I learned J is unable to hear.  Every time we have come, he has remained hidden on his bottom bunk bed away from us.  Oh, my heart hurt.  Until today, I never understood this deaf boy could not understand us!  Because he lives in a silent world, he chooses to withdraw from the life lived around him.  He's never come out of his room to interact with us until today. After I made some large hand gestures, did lots of pointing, gave a warm smile and finally made eye-contact, J was finally willing to join us.  I guided him over to the wooden chair we were using for a table and watched the smile cover his face.  He was so excited to be making something with his own name on it.

As we were leaving, J came up to me, held my hand and said, "T-hhhh--aaaa--nk Y----o--u."  The awkward deep sound of his voice was beautiful to my ears.

Upon arriving home, I looked on Facebook to see the latest postings from my friends. I realized quickly how removed I am becoming from American culture. I don't think I am changing per say, but my perspective is drastically different now.  My mind is shifting into attempting to understand this culture while my mind has been shaped by the culture I have always lived in.  My "old" culture is what is reflected on Facebook, rarely this new one.

Because of my heavy heart, I responded to a few posts perhaps too boldly. Please understand, I spoke from from the day I'd just experienced, and I pray my honesty did not offend.  I think I want to cry out to people, "Please do something to help these kids, because, at times, I feel soooo helpless!"

Here were my Facebook conversations with friends at the end of the day - 

Robin,

I spent some time today looking at your pictures....all I can say is "WOW"!!!! I was so amazed at the beautiful pictures of all that your family and friends are doing....I found myself wishing I could ask you a million questions about all of the kids and their stories and how they are, etc. etc, etc....I read every caption that you included...I loved it !!! In what way can we help from here? I would love to do anything that I can...Praying for you and your family....

Then, I responded...

Sweet Friend - thank you for your prayers! I am so grateful. Thank you!! As I read your post, please know that if we are doing anything of value here, it is Jesus doing it alone. We are saddened daily by the things we see, smell, hear.
Prayer is the strongest weapon against some of the strongholds here. Please pray. You can contact Feeding the Orphans and consider sponsoring a child through them or helping support one the upcoming projects. And, friend, I'm going to be bold to say this, but because you asked, I am going to answer. You can pray about the possibility of adoption. These children are so starved for attention, love, and security. At the homes where we go, the children are loved...but there are so many. In most, two to a bed. Squished together...if they have sheets, and most do not, there is not a top sheet. While there are tangible material things these children need, what they need more than anything else is to have an understanding of love so they can understand Jesus who would come and die for them. I apologize, but tonight I am heavy hearted. There are many ways to help and I've listed a few. Please continue to pray fervently for these kids. They need someone fighting in the spiritual realm for them. Thank you so much!!

After responding to the posting above, I read this Facebook post -

Anyone else overwhelmed w all there is to purchase at this time of year... Clothes, shoes, books, school supplies, .... Oh my.

(Along with about 18 "likes," the post also had 17 or so comments concurring that - YES, it is overwhelming. I thought I'd chime in too...)

I typed,

Actually...not overwhelmed at all about this now. Overwhelmed by other things though...

I was planning to leave it at that, but my friend was online and she wrote back,

I bet robin.. A whole new world ... R u homeschooling yet?

Before I responded, I remembered this image...  Oh dear, here we go...



Then I wrote back,

Nope. Thinking our boys will attend Faith Roots Academy. Concrete building with no electricity except in the office. Open windows - no air. They will be learning so much more than what is in the books as they will be the only Caucasian children in the school unless one other American family enrolls. Now we have to drive at least an hour to find a store that sells pencils and paper so we will learn to make do with much less...like everyone else here. We went on a field trip with some children from the school and one of the boys was taking notes in a calendar from 2004. Most children didn't have any paper. Or anything to write with. I'm learning so much. Realizing I never thought about the rest of the world enough. Heart is breaking daily, but I'm trying to love the one in front of me. Whoever it is. Miss you and everyone tons! Give your family my love.

And, I mean it. Please give your family my love because I do love you. I responded to these two posts from things I am really wrestling with. I am not "judging" anyone or being "critical." I am simply wrestling with God through the realization that I never thought about what was happening much outside of my own little world. And now it is hitting me in the face. Hard. I am looking in my closet to see what I can give away even though I'd already parted with many clothes before leaving Knoxville.  I've already given one woman one of my shirts here... and some plates... and a bag...etc... I have too much. Too much.

I read what is happening in America and I KNOW if I were there I would be doing the same things. Please know, there is NO judgement here. I'm just trying to make sense of it. And, it doesn't make sense. There's the Rich and the Poor. The Haves and the Have-Nots. The Blessed and the Forgotten.

Now that we live here, our family is the Rich, the Haves, the Blessed. I feel guilty coming home to the house we live in. And I don't know how to make it okay.  In reality, we were the Rich while we lived in America - but I never chose to see it that way.  My perspective wasn't there.

Is it wrong for me to ask a family to pray about adoption? Is it wrong to honestly reveal what life is like here? Is it wrong for me to share what I'm experiencing as I see the contrast to the life I lived before?

One of my dearest friends confessed that now she can only "skim" the blog because she can't handle the feelings that come with some of the things I share. I am so sorry.  This makes me so sad, because that is NOT the purpose of writing what I'm sharing.  Believe me, I am not trying to impose "guilt" on anyone!  I guess in my own uncomfortableness, I want others to be there with me... Not really, but...kinda.

But it's very hard to "get it" without being here...for a long time.

Some say I am a bit too compassionate. Maybe I am. I feel too deeply for others. I've always been this way. Perhaps I see the world through naive lenses thinking everything should be "fairly distributed" so that everyone has something. Is that wrong? I think I'm trying to share the REALITY of life here so that others will be more aware. I certainly wish I had been. Even with trips over numerous times, it was too easy to forget and get comfortable once I was back home.  I'd think about things...sometimes...but the needs didn't stay in front of me.  Now, I don't ever want to become desensitized to these things.

Ugh!   I think I'll be sharing lots of my "wrestling" here, so if it's too uncomfortable then, well, you may want to check back in a year or so. Maybe by that time, I'll have some clarity about all this?? 

It's my own heart He is revealing.  And shaping.

I am thankful for Feeding the Orphans and the O'Leary family. They understood the need here and they were obedient to help. They still are. When they heard about the bed situation, FTO said they would help. They want to help provide new mattresses for this home. Won't it be wonderful for these kids to sleep on mattresses that fit the beds?  You will be hearing more about this from Feeding the Orphans, or you can contact them to offer to buy a mattress. They are not expensive.

Kristie O'Leary had also already looked into S's hernia last year, and offered assurance doctors say it is not medically threatening. School supplies and clothing are sent with volunteers and families. So, please know...God is hearing the cries and HE is responding.  I'm thankful to see it.

Thanks for reading my mishmash of thoughts.

Finally, if you are one of my friends on Facebook and you receive a comment from me that says something uncomfortable, please know that I was probably out with the poor in Ghana for the day.  I never mean to offend.

When I finish this post, I'm taping my "Note to Self" on the computer.  :-)

Braden, our 8 year old, just came in.  Today we Skyped with cousins and he received a personal email from one of his closest friends.  He's had a hard time since then.  He's even said for the first time, "I want to go home."

Just now, in tears, he said, "When we came for 2 weeks, it didn't seem that far away, but now I really feel how far away we really are."

Seeing more needs up close...gotta go...I have a son who needs the love of his momma.

"For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though He was rich, yet for your sake He became poor, so that you through His poverty might become rich."

2 Corinthians 8:9

"Listen, my beloved brethren; did not God choose the poor of this world to be rich in faith and heirs of the Kingdom which He promised to those who love Him?" 

James 2:5

My Purpose

Guest Blogger: Mason Beebe, age 15

     Wow, almost two months already. Time flies so quickly here, it feels like we have only been here for several weeks. As our time here is just beginning, time here for a few volunteers is ending. I have mentioned Michael in several of my previous posts. He is leaving in less than a week. Abigail, who lived up the street from us for six weeks, left to go home yesterday. Sunday night, we had them both over for dinner. Our dinner time conversation rolled around to what their purpose was here. I won't share what they thought their purposes were, because they might be too personal to share without permission. However, the conversation triggered the question for me, what is my purpose for the time I am here?

     A week or so ago we were at the orphanage where Michael is volunteering. There is a boy at this home who I will call G. G and his brother are being adopted and their family was coming very soon on their second trip (the first trip had only been his parents). G is old enough to at least somewhat understand the adoption process. While we were at the home G took me to his room and showed me a book that his family had given him. He was so proud of that book. I asked if he was excited about his family coming. He said he was, but he had lots of questions for me. He wanted to know if when the family chose a referral, if it was a family decision, or just the parents who decided? Since he hadn't met his siblings before, I think he was nervous that they would not like him. G was also afraid that for some reason his visa to get into the U.S. might be denied. I was able to put these fears to rest, and let him know that his whole family loved him more than he could imagine. This seemed to make him happier and more excited. I asked him again if he was excited about his family coming. He said, "Yes I am so excited, but they will only be here for two weeks and then go back to America. When they leave I will just be," and the then took both his forefingers and ran them from the corner of his eyes down his cheek, as if he was crying. My heart ached at this. What could I do, hug him, pray for him, or tell him it would be alright? I could have done any of those things, but I was in too much shock to do anything. 

     The same day that this happened we were at another orphanage where kids are constantly adopted, volunteers and family's come in and out, and there is not enough space for all of the children. This is the day that the Von Hagens were supposed to leave with A and F, and the orphanage was having a going away party for them. P is a little boy who is being adopted and had just met his family a couple of weeks ago. As A and F were getting ready to leave their home for who knows how long, P had shut down. P and F had been friends and it had to be so hard to see his friend go, but we also realized he was having a hard time watching so many others from the orphanage go home with their forever families, when he knew that was still a long way down the road for him. We held P and hugged him, but it didn't help. 

     A day or two later I put a picture of P on Facebook. P's father commented and asked me to give P a big hug and tell him that his Daddy loves him. The next time we were at the orphanage, I picked up P, and told him his Daddy had asked me to give him a hug, so this hug was from his father. As I was hugging him I told him his family loved him so much and couldn't wait to come back and see him. P was silent, and I thought he might start crying.

     This is the plight of the orphans. They feel so lonely and in most cases unloved. Then if they are adopted it is still hard. The older ones that are adopted understand that the first and sometimes second trip are not the trips where he or she is being taken home. Then while they are with their family they count down the days until they go back to the orphanage. When the time comes for them to leave, they are forced to say goodbye to their friends, their former home, and their whole culture. The younger ones who don't understand that the first and sometimes second trips are not the ones where they will be taken home, must have crazy thoughts. They are put into a paradise where they have a Mommy and Daddy and are treated with care and love. Then after a week or two are put back into and orphanage where they don't understand that they still have a Mommy and Daddy and, in some cases, are not treated with care and love. How can they survive it?

     This is why I am here. This is my purpose. Not just to love on the children, but to build relationships, and to be someone who consistently comes back and does not just disappear into thin air. While I am not their Daddy (and most certainly not their Mommy), I think I can give them a glimpse of what it is like to have a family. This is where the Lord has placed me and why he has placed me here. I still feel unqualified, but I am finding that I don't have to feel qualified to do the job. The Lord has called me to do this regardless of how I feel, and by His power I will do it. I still mess up, but by His grace, I am forgiven. This is my purpose.

But I have raised you up for this very purpose, that I might show you my power and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth.

Exodus 9:16

Relationships Building

The wonder of our Lord is that He is so accessible to us in the common things of our lives:  the cup of water...giving thanks.  A simple attitude of caring, listening, and lovingly telling the truth.

Nancie Carmichael

This morning as I looked at the calendar, I realize we have been here now for seven weeks.  It's hard to believe.  Time has flown by.

At times, things seem to be moving slower than we would prefer, but I realize that God is now laying the foundation for our ministry here.  If the foundation is not secure, then anything placed over it will struggle to stand.

Over the past seven weeks, God has been beginning to seal relationships.  We've been able to see a transformation in the children we serve and in our own selves.

When we first began visiting GMI, one of the orphanages FTO partners with, the children would hug us, but at times, for me, it didn't feel completely natural.  I suppose because I didn't feel connected with the children completely.  My heart was only partially engaged.  Now, however, when we walk through the gate, the children bombard us.  I struggle to kiss the top of every single little head.  I pull them tightly to me, thankful to give a moment of true love to each child holding onto my legs.

Now, I also watch all of my boys PLAY with the kids.  They swing them around, tickle their ribs, kick soccer balls, and simply do what boys do - Have Fun!  As their mother, I don't think I've ever been more proud than to see them giving themselves away to these precious kids!

 The boys take the privilege of hugging these children seriously.  Most of the time, when I look around the compound, each of the boys is hugging or playing with someone...or two...or three.   Honestly, I've become very thankful for our family size of seven because that means there is more of us to go around. Some of the bonds with these kids run very deep.  Children we have fervently prayed for, we are now holding.  What an indescribable gift!

There are also children, like Mousy, would not even make eye contact with us a few weeks ago.  Now she is all smiles when we are together.  I'm hopeful that means she is coming to trust us.  When we leave the gate, we are able to say, "We will be back soon."  I think she knows now that we mean it.

Seeing my husband, Reid, love on these kids has made me fall more madly in love with him!  He is constantly throwing children in the air,  swinging them around, holding their hands, hugging them, holding them.  He's been able to give "Daddy hugs" to Richard for Mark every time we visit the home.  What an honor!  It's been a JOY to see Reid being a consistent male figure in these children's lives. Thankfully, in this home, John Nyavor is loving them well as a Daddy, and our family is simply trying to come alongside what he is already doing at GMI.

 We've been blessed to meet new faces in Ghana too, like Abigail.  She has been here for six weeks shadowing doctors and dentists here.  Over the past few weeks, she has visited villages and orphanages with us.  It's been a blessing to see what God is doing in her heart.

 As a mom who loves pictures, I am still guilty of "posed" photo opportunities, but I'm becoming more aware of that.  Our life here can not be "posed."  We must be real and transparent.  I simply want to capture what our family is experiencing because the smiles of these children bless us beyond measure.  For each of them, we want to care, listen, and love.

From my last post, you can probably tell at times I am truly overwhelmed by the need.  God is showing our family that we need to love the one in front of us.  Whoever that may be.  (Thank you Katie Davis!)  We may not ever meet the needs of all, but we might meet the need of one.  That's something.  One.  

We..."only meet the needs of some people; ...only scratch the surface ....God assures me this is okay.  If I continue to preach the gospel, and more important, live the gospel, here - even if outward conditions never change or change slowly - and these people can live eternally with Jesus in heaven someday, a few years of suffering will pale in comparison.  In the meantime, He allows me to see Him in their faces and to love Him by bandaging their wounds and letting their charcoal-and-mud-covered children curl up in my lap."   
-Katie Davis, Kisses from Katie, p.190-191